jaded

2007-09-08T10:15:00.000-07:00

But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight
It’s only you and me

i thought i knew who you were.
i thought i knew who i missed.
but i realised that perhaps
you only showed me who you were then.

times have changed,
your with another &
i'll love again once more.

no love will rekindle

2007-07-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

quit it
if you aint happy with it.

2007-07-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

those moments.

its time i realise how serious the
situaton is. it just aint me to
leave you in the lurch.
that aint calling myself a friend.
but if being a friend is gonna give you
wrong thoughts then forget it.

i just wanna let you,
ten years down the road
when i'm walking down that aisle
to exchange my vows, i wish you will be there.
the pianst.

you promised me.
but i wont be surprised if you dont turn up.
afterall to you i have broken my promise.
but you know what thats how important
you are.

your random thoughts.
the ideas that your friends give you about me.
do you think thats the true facts about me.
oh please. you should hear from that bitch of yours.
aint that what i am to you now.
a fake?
some plastic?
cheap?
slut?
liar?
everything negative since you aint loving me no more.
thats you and i know thats how its gonna be.
actually i dont bother about what you call me.
i aint anything like that.
and one more thing i'm better now than you aint
because i have someone.
but i' m true and apparently youre not.
quit lying to yourself and everyone else.
be yourself(:

bu

2007-06-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

i'm a one man woman,
youre a two timer man

it inflicts excruciating pain.
its so indescribable .
have i fallen?
that bounds to be the question left unanswered.

from the start i knew my feelings were certain.
but you twist and turned the tables
you changed everything.
convincing me gradually.

i doubt you know but
i can deal with it.
i'll be living in denial if i said i could.
but that doesnt mean that i need you badly.

a past is not needed.
its tougher to go through it
with even a smile
all those sweet nothings must have
meant something from the bottom
of that heart.

unless it was empty to begin with

sunshine through my window
That's what you are,
my shining starSunshine
Making me feel i'm on top of the world
Telling me i'll go far
Reaching out, for new heights
You inspired me to try
Felt the magic inside
And felt that i could fly
I'm looking at the world in an optimistic light
You made me appreciate my life

thats what you are(:

2006-11-17T07:53:00.000-08:00

Wish I could press rewind
And rewrite every line
To the story of me and you

no promises made.
lets just do the things we love.

i dont need anything.
i dont need anyone.
thats such lies and denials
the world is living in.

i cant say i dont miss you.
i've been true.
i aint no diabolical bitch.
all i can say is that afterall
at the end i'll be there.
but to you its all false
then theres no reason for
me to know you anymore.

cus it means nothing that way.
i never meant to hurt you.
when everything has been gathered
the truth will come to light.
and then we shall see whos true

the way you make me feel.
the way you let me down.
i'm over it.
i dont deserve such feelings.

2006-10-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

i'm in your heart tonight.

flood me with a river of sorrow.
and kill me with regrets.
thats what its about.
and thats the end to it.

i dont wana live life being
a major regret.
i dont wana cry over regrets
and mistakes i make.
i wana get it all over and done with a smile.

if i should fall i just wish you are waiting
to hold onto me and never let me go.
i may never love once more.
be the end of my misery.
and the beams of my light.
be the candle and lit me up.
stars dont come falling down
cus youre there to hold it all
up<3

2006-10-02T00:31:00.000-07:00

you make me wana fly
to nevereverever land with you

theres a turner to everything.
and i guess my whole life has turn around.
i'm glad it has.all the changes in my life.
the small ones to the huge ones.
from friendships to death.
the journey couldnt have gone on without you.
youre my laugher
youre my joy.
but i dont know who you are.
i'm just hoping one day i'll
meet you and say a big thankyou(:
perhaps at my deathbed.
perhaps in heaven.
but i know that youre with me deep down.

many more trials are about to come my way
more deaths, more living.
i'm really afraid of facing up to this harsh reality.
and i want to be strong.
i know you will give me the strength to carry on.
just with one smile.
youre charming smile(:

2006-08-29T05:31:00.000-07:00

In lettin you go, I'm lovin myself

turning things around.
working things out.
nothing is ever gonna work.
cus the problem lies in me.

the root cause.
i could have done so many things to
not salvage the situation.

what have become of me.
its sucha a fucked up world.
perhaps just mine.
i dont know.
the ups and downs in life.
would just rip every inch of me apart.
its gruesome and cruel.
ooh gosh you go gotta love it.

2006-08-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

youre the one who saves me.
afterall youre my wonderwall.

always being the trying to make things right
is indeed the most tedious thing in the world.
only one trying aint gonna work all the time.
it takes more than one to get things going.

its just difficult to please everyone.
and satisfy everyone's needs.
and its hard forgiving yourself for your actions.
and sometimes everything just happens to go wrong.
and its plainly your fault.

the problem lies in my existence.
live aint easy living at all

2006-06-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

my sexy love
keep me strong.
keep me running back to you.

there are too many paths to take sometimes.
but usually we are left with nothing.
choiceless.
pointless.
hopeless.

simply feeling useless.
the feeling of lost its tiring.
being indecisive is definitely not
due to the lack of options but the
overloading of them.and its so
difficult to choose cus of the
endings and feelings of it.

i just want to start all over again.
with a brand new start for myself.
simply giving myself to fall again.
it maybe a hard fall but now i am
assure that no matter what i'm gonna
smile with the fall.

i'll fall carefully and well.
its gonna be that way.
or i'll just ride away on that white horse by myself.
but in the end i know thats not what i want.
but you cant have everything you want.
so maybe i'll just ride on my own.

2006-05-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

i would only know you;
when i dont see you

each time i hear them preach.
im filled with guilt.
i never wanted to feel this way.

everything that fills me up now
its not me at all.
you just dont know how much i hate it.
it aint buckets of fun at all.
it so sickening and tiring.
but what can i do.
you brought me up to this.
and its just payback time.
and i'm not gonna be a fool anymore.
and just take everything in.

i'm gonna be a happy person.
and i'll never let anything in my
way stop me from getting where i want to be.
and be satisfied with my life.

life aint that complicated.
its your perspectives and your
rich imagination that made it that way.
you create the plot.
so treat yourself right.
dont live in misery.
never ever do that you owe no one a living.

2006-05-22T03:53:00.000-07:00

youre heaven send.
the love all wrapped up in one.
and you make me whole again.

i never wished for things to
turn out this way.
its the worse nightmare ever.
friendships ending like that.
and the pieces would hardly
be mend back and looking
as good as new.

it has simply come to a turningpoint
in life.where youre gonna lose.
once again i lose it and lose it all
at one go.someday im really gonna
lose it.its hard handling it all.
and you know that.

but under the conditions now
i guess this is just the best solution
to it.im just disappointed that you
misjudge me and dont believe in me.
i can just tell that i dont mean
anything to you.

a simple friendship doesnt seem
to be existing at all.i guess
relationships just simply
overrule it and all and
overthrown that.
well now victory has been gained.

no participation was needed by us.
but we simply got the taste of it.
well its just sour and bitter and cold.

2006-05-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

youre someone i'll never learn to love.
i have given up.

2006-05-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

things are never gonna be the same again.

emotions overwhelm me
as the past flows through
my mind.every little
thing makes me cry.
cus i miss them so.

all the friendships.
all the fun i simply miss now.
all the talks.
all the love and smiles that
always never fails to brighten
up my day.

people change as time goes by.
i change as time goes by.
but im still who i really am
inside.thats something that
will never change.

there are just somethings
that you can only trust
telling yourself.there are
people whom you can trust
for a lifetime.yes there
definately is.but most
importantly the most
reliable person to trust at the
end of the day is yourself.

you were once my everything.
everything comes to an end.

and i shall let my heart rest.

2006-04-28T19:20:00.000-07:00

we got different stories.
and all our neverendings now.
even though your heart is free.
still my heart wont let me be.

time takes the memories along with it.
i'm becoming forgettful.
well is that great.i just wish to hold
onto the sweet memories i'm left with.

you felt like you can never love again

2006-04-18T04:19:00.000-07:00

do you wana ride?

everything just seem so complicated and
complex.its just hilarious sometimes.
when everything is going wrong with your
life.but the last person in the world that
you think you will never get along with
its just getting on so well with you.
thats just snappy.

but while others who have always been there
and the ones you share your ups and
downs with and go wacky and high.
those just seem to be so far away.
like you have been drifted with no reason
needed.it just sucks.whats great about life
that way even though there is the snappy
side of it.its just not what anyone would
even want.

i rather things return to normal.
back to our old ordinary lives
where there are full of bitches.
liars suckers and a world full of
bloody ass.arent we all use to that
kinda life.

life is just about getting use with people
like that wearing a mask for their own
and walking around with that facade.
so why not get back to reality and end
this tragic fairytale.

i would love to ride with you(:

2006-04-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

its never perfect.

everyone has their flaws.
no one is perfect.
but they can be if you allow them to.

and so can life.
but everyone's lives are such
a screwed up nowadays.
it just sucks.

i'm just taken aback
that i'm living such a tragedy like
everyone else.

2006-04-05T05:35:00.000-07:00

its only you and me(:
its my dear MABEL.

arent you tired.
im so exhausted.
sometimes breaking down seems
to be the only solution.
but i bloodyhell hate it.

i dont wana resort to that.
but sometimes i really want
to cus it makes me feel much
better.like it always does.

being a bitch.
thats nothing new.
i nevermind being one.
its just part of life.
i dont know and dont care.
i mean it now.
like i really am not gonna
bother cus i dont appreciate your
thoughts and your opinions of me.

im gonna face up to all my problems.
be brave.
smile on.
smile the pain away.
tml is gonna be a better day if you treat
it right.and im gonna do that cus
i love myself(:

even if my world falls right down on
me now.im going to face up to that
fact and try my best to smile it away.
dealing with problems are the best solutions.
thats simply what i reckon.

2006-03-31T05:25:00.000-08:00

drugged up off that ecstasy.

such things will never be over.
thats how its gonna be.
all i want to say is that.
im exhausted over this issues.
and do what you like.
im just gonna keep it this way.
maybe one dayy.we would just
explode together.it may happen.
for now i'm gonna control.

if you never ever try you will never know.
yea trust me.someone out there
may just be feeling how youre feeling now.
and all you have to do is to take the first
step to spill things out.and i can assure you
someone will understand and no one will
think youre silly.everyone has their
own problems and they would have to
deal with it.its just the matter of how.
keeping it in just brings more harm.
if you wish you can always talk to me.
i may not understand but i'll listen.
i definately will.always here for you

2006-03-25T17:39:00.000-08:00

i can be the one to take you home.

overwhemling emotions.
is not what i want.
i never did.
i dont feel good at all.
i just dont wana care what
you think about me.

i dont even know why
am i even doing this
to myself.its just so
miserable and unbearable.
im tired.very tired.
thoughts of ending my life
do come to my mind.
but i will never be so silly
to do so.

being ignorant.
being just me.
i want to live out of this.

things may seem to have gotta
better much better.but issit
all facades that we are putting up.
stop living in self denial.
deep down nothing has changed.
i know.you cant lie to me.
cus of this special thing we have.

i may not know you well.
but its just that feeling and
instinct.its seldom wrong.
i dont make empty promises
thats my i didnt promise you
cus i guess the one you made
was just to make everyone
feel better at that point of time.

just spit it to me.
im done with it.

fuck the emotions.
fuck the radio and
the songs.bloody hell
fuck it all.

misery loves me

im definately not out to
gain sympathy.i dont need
that at all.none of it.
if you really understand.
all i need is sometime alone.
and something to make my dayy.
and keep it that way always.

2006-03-19T07:14:00.000-08:00

live it your way

i have trusted.
i have believed.
if i was wrong in doing so then
its said and done.what more can
i do.i dont regret whatever i have
said.maybe i have made the wrong
choice in trusting you.
but i rather do that than being
left alone by myself.

i rather be accompanied by a liar
a cheater and treated as a fool.
then be left alone.cus i cant fight
no battle on my own.its not how
it seems on the outside at all.
cus of everything i end up being able
to only trust either one.
im gonna trust both.
its just a risk im gonna take.

trusting and believing
and not again.its difficult.
i rather let things stay the
way it is.anyway everything will
come to an end.its just a matter of time.
all this happenings is nothing
new to me.but this time is just
confusing.im used to the heartaches.

2006-03-13T06:29:00.000-08:00

theres no love like your love.

dont tell me its not worth crying for.
looking back.i ponder.
was the past true.the people i befriended.
why live in the past.
it just makes one reflect so much.
they were the ones.
and now true colours revealed.
no words can describe how i feel.
its just a fucking sad screwed up world.

no matter what good times we had.
wasnt it true or just a false front that
we were putting up.i know i wasnt.
but now im doubting myself so much.

2006-03-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

words are all i have.

thankful.
surprised.
grateful.
thats all i have to say.
i didnt expect it to be like that.
to me no one cares.
cus its insignificant and why
bother to anyway.its kinda childish.

i love talks.
yea i do.
talks are productive.
great way to bond.
to understand and talking to
the person personally and not
believing rumours its good.
clarifying is great.
why cant things always turn out
this way.oh wells i rather not live
in self denial like you.

2006-03-04T17:27:00.000-08:00

get wasted with you.

sometimes you wonder.
sometimes you hope.
sometimes you wish.
sometimes you pray.
just for one reason.

everything is done with
a reason behind it.
i dont like the reasons i reckon.
i rather know
the truth
the reality
but how is that gonna be of any good
anyway.im trying to be ignorant.
but at the end of the day
i do want things to be fine.
i cant live lying
i cant live pretending
cus basically im not you.

2006-02-27T06:41:00.000-08:00

the longest walk ever

i dread.
i detest.
i dislike.
so i gave up.
things in the past shld be left there.
i want to move.
i want to grow up fastfast.
like really fast.
i treasure the past.
the future.
but somehow not everything in the presentstate.

you've been the one for me.
hey gasolina(:

2006-02-26T00:26:00.000-08:00

i'm sorry i can't fit perfectly into your mould.

all the facades.
i had enough.
what have i reckon.
i dont know.
thats nothing more to it.
i guess i have been lonely.
i have been cheated.
and been misunderstood.
i have been leading a life
of a fool.how sad can my life
be.i feel silly
for trusting.
believing.
looking on the bright side.
just being myself.
and loving.

i aint no wannabe.
no fool no more.
i just wana be happy.
ignore it.
live with it.
i hate fighting and crying.
so quit it.

youre my secret indulgence

2006-02-22T01:29:00.000-08:00

things just aint the same anymore.
so everything is me hur.
the problem lies in me.
have you ever reflected.
maybe its time.i have tried
so hard to avoid everything
related to you.do you realise
i doubt you do cus all you ever
do is that you keep appearing
mutiple times.i dont know how to
deal.i suck at dealing with my
problems.if i actually do.
its like shredding me into
pathetic strips.

just leave me alone to lead my
life.it may be not what you want.
cus you want hell for me.
it has been alright.so isnt it time
to love and forgive.the bloody
annoying reason why i detest
you is cus i havent done nothing
to have you hating me.
is just you and everything in that head.

love and forgive.

2006-02-04T21:03:00.000-08:00

so done with wishes.

over and done with it.
when can i ever say that
i can promise that.i dont
make empty promises.
i dont.

smile and the pain would go
away.hurhur its a major joke.
like seriously.im sorry
if im being cranky.
so sorry.

where are you

2006-02-02T06:01:00.000-08:00

its all coming back to me.

somethings just dont change.
they cant change.its like impossible.
so all i can do is to choose to
ignore it.who cares if im
running away.if thats the best solution
to it then why not.

im sick and tired of feeling this way.
i dont seem to lead a life of my
own cus my mind is somewhere
else its just floating away into
my lalaland.the memories
the past.the future.the present.
its all like a dream.
i pinch myself so hard but
i just dont seem to be able to
get out of it.im still wandering.

i cant help you and instead
i feel that im burdening you.
its surprising to know that someone
actually understands me.
cus everything is just too weird
to seem possible to happen to anyone
else.im weird maybe cus i feel weird.

2006-01-30T06:08:00.000-08:00

you sing songs into my lips.

2006-01-21T21:35:00.000-08:00

rejoice everytime you hear the sound of my voice.

life has been screwy.
confusing.lost.missing with lots
of holes in them.well but it
still goes out.the past leaves me
in trumor.now i know how to deal
and have learned to be numb.
oh im learning to love my life
and live it well.and treat myself
better.

glad that all the situations are
over.im just simply glad.
something shldnt be complicating
and complex.they shld just be simply
and sweet.thats what i want

2006-01-17T01:29:00.000-08:00

there are just somethings that are not meant to be.

i pray and i hope.
but why does all these
still happen.oh whatever mann.
im just losing it.
feeling totally fucked up.
total bitch.i just wana go
fuck yea.fuck you.

the understanding.
the sensitivity.
the patience.
i just lost it.
all cus of a fucking thang.

2006-01-11T03:38:00.000-08:00

im looking down on you smiling.

everything has just gone by really
fast.i never had the chance to
reflect upon them and when i do
this just very saddening.i miss
all those times.why cant we turn
back time.bloodyhell whyy.
but if we did i would have never
knew all this other people.
but its all alright if i dont.
i can sacrifice everything and
anything just to turn back time.

and pause at those unforgettable times.
i miss them):

things are just different.
people change.but the past
remains the same.thanks for
the past.looking back upon it.
just makes me miss everything more.
im gradually dying.i know that too well.
but i will tryta to be strong.
cus i want to be there for them all
cus yall mean so much to me.

tears inside.

2006-01-07T00:18:00.000-08:00

ooh get off my back.
quit haunting me.

can i shout it out loud.
can i just kill you.
can i just get rid of you.

rahh bloody hell.i hate it.
whats wrong.i dont know
seriously dont.when it was
gone it was gone like
forever.i was taken away to
a land of neverever.i will
never return.oh damn
just gotta get me back.

theres just no one there
in that sweetland.

2006-01-04T04:05:00.000-08:00

killing me softly.

its never the end.
in this fucking chapter
it doesnt seem to have an
ending to it.so deal with it.
things just ain that simple
anymore.it never did.
give me a miracle please.

theres magic in your eyes

2006-01-02T06:44:00.000-08:00

i swear its over.

why care.caring gets me
no where.i have a life to
live and im gonna live it up.
everything changes for a
reason but some just dont.
its just natural i guess.
understand that please.

needless to say more.

2005-12-30T21:07:00.000-08:00

you dont mean a thing.

i guess you love it. dont you.
i had enough.i have my limits.
im human.and human enough to
know what youre trying to do
and i fucking hell understand.
perhaps i have been too
understanding.too kind.
stupid dumb.i have been treated
like a sucker and a fucking asshole.

i swear that i had enough.
you just dont know.
isnt you being insensitive or
just you doing it on purpose.
whatever it is.i dont care anymore.
you can go ahead and hurt me
and all cus i aint gonna care.
cus you dont mean anything to
me.i thought it was long gone.
but it wasnt and i foolishly thought so.
cus i believed you.but after what i
got enlightened.it was different.

some things just dont change
no matter what you do.
its just like history which we
cant change.cus its history.
although its behind us but
we live with it and its in us.
the same goes for you.
i let down my history.
i burned it destroyed it
so i forgot about.but you kept
it hidden and it lives it you.

so its all lies.yea
it has all this while been
that way.why have i been
so naive and foolish.
and i have been treated like
a fucking asshole.go to hell with it lar.
you dont deserve my everything at all.
anyhow just rmb that i have nothing
against you besides you aint
being true to yourself.

learn alrights.
take care.

2005-12-28T20:53:00.000-08:00

i have gotten over it.
im a happyhappy girl now.
and i want it to stay this way
always.but good things come
to an end.i hate it.

i hope things dont turn out
that way.dont let it all go
to waste.it so wasted.
i dont know what more to
say but i cant do a fucking
thing about it.besides being
there for you and to catch you
my dear.and listening to you.
i feel useless.im anyway.

prays that all goes well.
i love yall.please rmb that.
and i would do anything.

i will take the chance.

2005-12-22T05:43:00.000-08:00

why do we have to live such
lifes.sometimes it just seems
so unfair.we cant choose what we
want in life.althought its ours.
its always up to fate.it just
doesnt seem fair at all.
its just very saddening.
i hate sad endings.i want
to see a complete chapter and
ending to everything.and
it has gotta be happy.

to me this entire year.just flew
by.it seem like a dream.
was it a nightmare.i guess not.
it has just been too wonderful
for me.despites all the ups and downs.
i still made it through.
i have matured grown.
and im just glad i did.
basically i dont have any regrets
anymore.what is done is done
we cant turn back time.
neither can we pause it
at our favourtie parts.

all of us have to face up to
reality.but the real thing just
seems too harsh to handle.
it really is.and sometimes youre
just so lost and lonely.
you dont know who you can count
on.nobody but yourself.
i have learnt so many things this
year althought it has past so fast.

it all had to hit me hard.
for me to wake up and face
the bloody fucking reality.
im so glad that im crying now.
i have been dying to.
the feeling of keeping it all inside.
just ripps me apart.
its just me.its my own fucking
problem.something that i have
long to deal with.

be satisfied and treasure
everything and anything.
and for all the good and
bad things that come your
way.take it in your stride.
this striked me.yea
LALALALA makes me smile.

all i want to be right now.
is to be happy and im.
on the inside and outside.
cus there are just somethings
that i have got over alrdy.
so this is simply random.

aint no mystery of mine

2005-12-17T05:47:00.000-08:00

i will never be whole.
i will never be the person that
i want to be.is not that i dont
want to but i cant.i hate this.
its torturing me.i dont wished
to be perfect.i never did.
im not kinda person.aint a perfectionist.
nothing like that.that makes on
unique in their own way.
through their flaws they stand out.

most of the times i really dont
know what i want.i need a
guiding light someone i can
depend on.i dont wana be
independent anymore.
im tired shagg woreout.
i dont know how others can
cope so well.i seriously admire
them.yes i really do.

and i dont know who to turn to
now i understand that it actually
isnt the same at all.its just
different cus thats essential and
its all a totally different feeling.
i swear mann i totally know.

the right someone just simply
havent come my way.i will wait
like i always have been.now i
know how you feel totally
i have never felt this way.
now i know but issit too late.
but all i want to let you know
and hopefully you do is not
to rush.and to me youre perfect
and attractive in every single
way.i dont see a flaw.just that
smile.it should stay there and
make it real dont be a pretender.
cus i love the real you.
dont wipe that smile away my dear.

at the end of the day.
i wana be that person.
be completed.

2005-12-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

i can have everything in this world

now i sense that youre fine again(:
im so fucking glad you know.
but when youre happy and all
im too.really mann.the telepathy
is kinda freaking me out.
youre really in me.haha practically
you are mann.but then now
youre in love.but im not.
thats good.i dont wana be.

sometimes there are just some
stuff that cant be express nor
brought across my words.
but by every little action.
and expression.i simply realised
that.and there are just somethings
i rather not tell anyone.
i wana forget it.i guess i have.
cus i dont feel anything about it.
LALALA.im happy.
maybe cus youre damn happy now.
GOOD!this is just great.

i dont need another pretender.
to disillusion me one more time.
underneath the disguise of a smile.
im gradually dying inside

2005-12-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

do you get it.

im wondering how you are now.
somehow i sense that things arent
going the right way for you at all.
ever since when did it yea. but
somehow i can feel its worse this
time round.and i hope you have
found somehow to talk it out to.
i really hope so.i know you need
me.that is if only i know and you
havent told anyone else.which
i guess you have.or else i dont
know how in the world are you
dealing with it.im so worried
for you.

sometimes i simply hate sharing
this kinda telepathy with you.
haha i really wana know whether
its true anot cus its driving me nuts.
and i know youre going nuts too.
love makes one go nuts.
i know.i fully understand.haha
now im feeling alright.so i guess
you too.am i just comforting myself.
i seriously hope not.
i miss you so much!
i know you miss me too.

2005-12-10T07:22:00.000-08:00

im just glad that we are settling
things maturally.its good.
im not lying kays.seriously not.
hmm but you got me thinking.
im just denying it.fooling myself.
i doubt so cus i have let it go
and simply carrying on living
my life well.i know i must be
strong.thats the only solution now.

i have never blame anyone.
never cus all of it has been
my choices.i chose how its suppose
to be like for me yea.

just know that i will be here for you.
if you feel comfortable telling me
stuff and all.then do kays.
im 24/7.haha yes kays.
no matter what lets put the past
behind and move on(:

2005-12-09T03:30:00.000-08:00

i dont wana make any empty promises.
i dont and i never will want to.
its just not me.perhaps is you hur.
so i will be honest yea.
i dont have anything against you.
i seriously dont.what i need now is
an answer to fall on me.and
enlighten me on what i shld be
doing and the right way to deal
with it.soon i tell you soon kays.
i dont wana use the word time.
cus i hate it.it doesnt mean anything
to me at all.it doesnt matter.

no matter how much time im
given if i dont wana let it go
it will never right.its all in the
mind and heart.so yea is something
that time can do nothing about.
trust me mann i know it too well.

2005-12-08T01:15:00.000-08:00

issit a good thing or a bad thing i dont know.
at least now i know what i want in life.
and i guess im dealing well.i like it.
i may have changed i dont know.
maybe i guess but isnt for good or
bad i dont know.and i dont really
seem to care anymore.i dont see
any point in doing so anyway.

i hope you have grown up.
rahh i seriously cant stand the
sight of you now.and everything.
is just making me go madd.
totally mann.that im not dealing
well at the moment.haha i need
to think about it and all.i need
a perfect solution.its coming soon.
soon it will come to me.yeaps

things have change.
they always have.they change
within each passing day.
they either get worse or better.

2005-12-04T05:25:00.000-08:00

sometimes i guess im definately better
off in a world of my own.haha but thats
damn sad cus then i wouldnt know
anyone of yall.but i really rather
stay in my own world.where is
pure and innocent.that seems like
my childhood.haha the young child.
wouldnt it be great.i wish and hope.

but i can never turn back time.
maybe i can dream about it.
i love dreaming about stuff
which makes me smile.but i know
that they will never come true.
cus they are simply dreams.
dreams are just fairytales of mine.
sometimes i rather not care
not bother and not be concern.
and so i wouldnt go find out
and know.its plain stupid of me.

2005-12-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

this is no dedication nor farewell entry
kays.you will be back in one piece.
yes you will.too bad i cant get you
in the rosary ring in time.soon kays.
when you come back.youre not going
forever la.anyhow im gonna miss
you.yes im kays.helloads.oh no!how

hope that you would have fun there kays.
and i wana hear all about it alrights.
so go and come back soon.
well this is short but nvm hopefully
you get what i mean.im gonna miss you!
and i love you!

2005-11-26T06:48:00.000-08:00

i dont know what i need ryte
now.im feeling sorry for every
single bloody fucking thing
that has been happening.
the amount of apologies i
have made.the people i have
hurt.this seems to be the
lowest point of my life.

i dont feel like needing anyone.
perhaps being left alone is
the best.maybe later on someone
would pick me up.i dont know.
seriously the best solution now
is to just go bang the damn wall.
at least that isnt running away
from the problem.to me it seems
like the way to solve it.

i feel like an asshole.
after all that i have done.
i been hated.and unlove.
whats the point.i dont know.
im just blinded.love is seriously
blind.i must have been loving you
too much.i guess i need someone
else now.

im numb.dont seem to be feeling
anything anymore.i dont want
any sympathy neither do i need
any understanding.i just need a
big tight hug and just to keep it
that way till i sleep.that seems to
be the best warmth ever.

2005-11-24T07:23:00.000-08:00

numb.lost gone.i dont know.
thats nothing going on with me.
but it just seems things arent
ryte but i seriously dont know why.
thats something wrong with me.
weirdweird.very indeed.

enlightenment needed with whats
going on with me.im happy now.
have always been.is not that i
learnt to deal with matters well.
but im happy.

i didnt mean to fall in love with you.
it isnt love its robbery.and im sleeping
with ghost of you and me.

2005-11-21T04:06:00.000-08:00

enough is enough.i have got so much
to say.you just dont know how badly
i need to.so as to not get judge by
others i shant judge others first.
that enlightened me so much.
which is damn true.from the start
i nv knew what wrong i did.
you thought too deep but perhaps
you saw it through me i dont know.
i may say i dont care but i do.
of cus being misjudge isnt fun
at all.this game is getting no
where.i dont know what do you
want from me seriously.and i dont
know how i have offended you.
you could have told me off if
you really cared and not backoff.
excuses are just reasons to runaway
and escape from reality and the truth.
what a coward.if you dont even have
the guts to face up to it and if this
is the way you handle and treat
issuses like that.seriously you have
no right to judge me.hopefully
someday you will understand my
kind intentions and i meant no
harm.

2005-11-19T00:12:00.000-08:00

if you know me then you
would actually understand me

exhausted.woreout.tired.
i dont know mann.sleeping
seems to be my only escape.
my cure.my hope.my reality.
im not running away its just
resting and trying to figure
things out.my life seems
so farnie lately.it just isnt
the same anymore.perhaps
cus of the different pple that
have been happily stepping in
and out of my life.

i need someone to make my day
ryte now.and make me smile.
why couldnt that person be
you.somethings are just not
meant to be i know.but even
if it was for that moment i
would treasure it.and appreciate
it lots.

2005-11-18T05:16:00.000-08:00

sometimes i cant help but wonder
that at the end of the day would
anyone even be there for me.
when im falling or when i needa
share my laughter and joy.
i guess no one would be there.
friends always said that they
will be there.but how many actually
mean what they say.i know i
say it but i mean it.

i have got many close friends.
which somehow made me wonder
how many do i actually trust and
how many can i even rely on.
thinking about it somehow hurts.
cus im not even sure that whoever
i think that will be there may actually
end up being there.many things
in life are unexpected and surprising.
this is just simply random.yeaps
no matter what i still treasure every
single one of them and the
friendship that i share with
anyone.yall are the sunshine
of my life.the will for me to
carry on living.

friends are simply why i have
carried on living my life.thats
simply the reason why.i want
to be there for them.and i love
all of them so much.they complete
my life no matter what.
they may hate me or dislike me
but at the end of the day i still
love them cus they are the important
figures of my life and i know that
even though im loved by none.
these are the pple who love
me and cared for me.

friends are simply a great gift
from god(:

2005-11-16T06:25:00.000-08:00

its all over.things have changed.
i must have been blind.but it has
always been blind thats what its
all about.but i definately wouldnt
mine having a good friend like
that.it would simply make my
day everyday.haha

look on the bright side of things.
im smiling alrdy.haha smiling
back upon everything my entire
past.the innocent times and all.
seems like im gonna die.
i just wana let you know babe.
i will always be here for you.
its not a duty or what so ever.
its just what friends are for.
to be there for one another always.
no matter what happens rmb at
the end of the day you always
have a friend here with you.

i dont want to see you get hurt
again.loveyoutruckloads<3

2005-11-16T00:27:00.000-08:00

i never knew whatever i have done
was just suicidal.i seriously never
knew.its just crazy.it may seem like
nothing and all but that just dont
seem to be the case.being accused
and all just aint what i like.thats
what i hate the most.pple not trusting
me and misjudging me.if you
wana kill me hate me or whatever
in the world you wish to do to me.
i wouldnt really give a damn about it.
but misjudging and trust is definately
something i cant ignore.im sorry
but i cant.

is just something that i grew up to
be like.there are so many things
i cant understand ryte now.
im not lost definately neither am
i confused.but theres no one to
explain and enlighten me.yea
some stuff are just meant to be
this way thats how life is.
it simply is this way.i gave up
wishing and hoping.it doesnt work
its just tiring.

it just seems dumb that i took so
long to get over the past.haha
so i guess i shant make a grave
mistake by pinning my hopes high.
and even thinking about it.just seems
that i need someone to be there and
someone i know that at the end of
the day will always be with me.
that would be the sweetest thing
ever.even if it doesnt last for a
lifetime.i would just treasure and
appreciate it all.

just appeared in my dreams and
it would be great(:
i dont exactly love you but i like
you.it would just remain as a
simple fantasy and pretty past of it.
im actually over it cus im scared.
simply too afraid to carry on.

2005-11-14T04:03:00.000-08:00

hoping that it was truly a passing phase.
i rather it all be a fantasy and part of the
past.beautiful memories that i can smile
and look back upon.wish for a future but
it aint gonna happen cus it has always been
a fantasy.simply my fantasy((:
thanks for the fantasy<3

im clueless about what i shld do about it.
i dont want to get the wrong idea across.
like things would only get worse.so what am
i suppose to do.i cant ignore it can i.
ignoring it is just like running away from it
all.and that would be no end to it.
but if this isnt even true in the first place
then why im i ending up doing all this.
running away would just get me no where.
thats what i figured.but will an answer just drop.
can it.it really shld cus its just killing me.
but for now i guess im over it.

2005-11-08T04:39:00.000-08:00

perhaps you wouldnt want to tell me
maybe cus you dont trust me. i dont know.
i understand that somethings are just
not meant to be said.i swear i understand.
thats why somethings i cant tell you too.
yea.well i find that our friendship
somehow or another has changed.its kinda
cold and all now.i dont wish to bring it up or
anything maybe is only just for now.hopefully
it is like that.but no matter what rmb i will
always be a phonecall away.
and im right here for you and i always will be(:

LOVE YOU PLENTY<3
and do take care.

2005-11-06T06:57:00.000-08:00

secrets and all.
rahh im surprised that im actually
able to keep it all.things have changed
i guess.i have changed.hmmmm.
well i dont know changing with the
times just seem ryte.
hopefully it would just stay
this way.but its so difficult.
oh i will get over it soon.
getting over things nv seem to difficult.
but it just seems that wayy.

oh rahh im happy today.
that all just seems fake.
well forget it i dont even know
when im real.thats confusing.
so i do agree that im fake alrights.
but it would happens at times like
that.what can i do about it.
i dont wana express it out.
tried to cry out everything
but it just seems as if all the tears
in me have all dried all.seriously mann.
perhaps im just numb.haha i dont know.
living in this world and having to put on
a false front is tiring but its all worth somehow(:

2005-11-04T19:36:00.000-08:00

BECAUSE YOU LIVE

everything seems to be happening one
after another.i rather know nothing.
be an innocent being.thats the best.
cus you aint know nothing and you
cant comment nor hurt anymore and
no one would end up hurting you.
and your world would just be the
prettiest among all others.

the only thing i need now is my twin((:

2005-11-03T04:29:00.000-08:00

hopefully you have understood me
better.and well perhaps i havent
told you everything yet.is not that
i dont trust you but its difficult to
rmb about the past.cus it hurts.
i wish i could as fast as possible.
but its painful but i will someday.
i would tell you everything.
cus i trust you.and you will
be the first that i will think of
when im feeling happy or down.
that i promise you babe!

i feel comfortable telling you all.
friends like that hardly come by.
i do appreciate you and
im lucky to have found you.
hopefully you would feel comfortable
telling me stuff too.
you can always count on me
and trust me.i will always be there((:
LOVE YOU!take care.

2005-11-01T21:03:00.000-08:00

omg im dying to tell you mann.
and i cant take it anymore.

whywhy.omg i dont know mann.
im confused with everything thats
happening.rahh everything is coming
back once again.oh fuck it.

after you left me there hanging
alone.i learnt to be dependent on
myself.cus i cant depend
on you.this journey alone allow me
to learnt so much about myself.
and how im really feeling and what
i actually want to do with my life.

thats the end.
the last traces of it.

things just aint the same

2005-10-23T04:35:00.000-07:00

im feeling happy now.
cus everything is over i have gotten
over it all.and actually this blog was
created for a reason.to actually communicate
to someone but i guess everything is over now.
and somehow this ended up as a outlet to
express my real self.and i hope people
reading dont think too much into it cus
it seriously isnt much.

i have reasons for blogging here.yea i do.
hopefully someday you will realise and read the
stuff here.but on the other hand i rather you not.
cus i dont want you to get hurt anymore.
youre hurt enough and i cant bear to see you get
hurt even deeper.i simply wish for you to
understand what im going through and realise
that i really do need you and whatever im saying
aint a joke.i mean it when i say it all.
i love you and i will always be here for you.
and you know that cus i have always been when
you needed a shoulder and a listening ear.
youre everything yea.but now you dont need me.
im fine with it but just to let you know now
its my turn.and i need you here for me.

i wana fall on you.and youre the one i wana
lean on cus i know you will understand me the
most.but somehow i know i cant count on you.
that just tears me apart.i cant help but think about
it and break down.i thought about it the other nyte.
it brought tears to my eyes.i couldnt help it.
after so much we been through and in the end
im left standing there alone.

i regret so much.i shldnt have told you.but during
then you were the only one i could count on and
trust.

no matter what i still love you.
and i miss you so((:
im happy now.but i just wana
let you know cus youre impt to me.

2005-10-19T07:12:00.000-07:00

its all fading and i dont know whether
thats good.perhaps i would be better off
this way.hopefully.

i dont wish to know you no more.
youre not the same person i knew.

i simply have given it up to the ladies.
ohoh tell all the ladies that we are giving
it up.

you dont know me but you understand me.
youre miracle.

2005-10-10T02:24:00.000-07:00

sometimes i cant help but wonder.
and you cant possibly blame me
if i do.too much wondering got
me thinking what im exactly
wondering about.kays thats weird.
but i dont think im the only one.
i simply think too hard and too much.
all that i have gone through and know
about life.i can say that i definately
have gone through more than anyone
around me.the broken friendships
and relationships.but i have learnt to
get over all of it.life is unpredictable
and its not up for me to decide when
am i going to die things like that.

but i can definately treasure and
appreciate everyone around me.
i have learnt to after some many
ups and downs in my life.all the
lessons i learnt in life is just
simply to live my life pretty and the
way i want it to be.and try not to be
affected by the things around me
but that one i cant.cus i care.
i seriously do.i know what its like
feeling sad and being alone and
no one for you to fall back on.
feeling insecure.the world seems
like it hates you so much that
all of it have to come crashing down
on you.and thats no one to love
nor care about you.i know how it feels.

youre not alone.
thats simply what i want you to
know.i dont wish for you to
go through what i did.cus it
hurts so deep no matter what
the hatred and pain would always
be there till the end of it.

i pray for you everything.
for you to be happy and not
get hurt.and take things easy.
dont take all to heart its
tiring and it wears you out.
cus you are loved by me.

~~im with you always~~

2005-10-02T01:37:00.000-07:00

when you love someone is all goes to waste.
its somehow true depends on who you love.
many things happened recently
which somehow affected me quite badly.
the things that happened are not things
that happened to me but people around me.
i try not to get affected but its just natural to.

knowing so much is definately of no good
sometimes.cus they are things that i hafta
keep to myself.secrets hurr.all the dirty little
secrets yes i would keep them all.secretssecrets!
haha but somethings just aint secret.

where are you now.when i need you so badly.
i am not blaming you for not being here for me.
but do give me a chance to pour everything out
to you cus i needa.and i can only pour it to you.
and only you and i know why.i hope the time comes
soon cus i cant take it anymore.i would just bloww.
i was there for you when you needed me
and now cant you do the same.sometimes
all the words you say dont mean a thing.

perhaps you just dont realise how badly i need you.
and you dont know that i need you.just cus i have so many
others doesnt mean i dont need you.everyone is living
for a different reason.and somehow one of my reason
is you.to always be there for you.but now i guess you dont
need me anymore.you threw my love away.

i dont want to tell you straight in your face cus
you may get hurt.and why would i want both parties to get hurt.
one is enough.i dont wish for anymore scars to be left in me.
im sorry mann.just tell me that you dont need me and
i would leave and then i would know that i cant count on you.

sometimes i wonder issit a good thing being in a
relationship.somehow you know that the someone
would always be with you and no matter what you would
still have your other half to love you and care for you.
but when that someone hurts you it hurts so deep.
and you would just end up getting scarred.
so whats the point in even starting it.
to get hurt in the end or to be love wholeheartedly?

well i do pray for youu.take it easy kays.although i would
somehow maybe never know how issit like for the other half
to die and leave you now.but i know it hurts.please be strong.
plentylovee ((:

2005-09-10T05:59:00.000-07:00

sometimes i simply love everything.
cus its all somehow falling into place
really nicely.but most of times it seems
out of place.not the way i ever wanted it
to be hurr and never would have expected
it to have been liked.and i just have to
be feeling sorry for every single damn
shit.

i do not want to end up feeling regrettful
about everything in the world.i guess most of
the time now i am always feeling like im
dreaming i guess is cause i am halfawake.
perhaps just numb by it all.and thus i dont feel
that anything around me is real.
those i just what i guess.

just one week back i realised that
i dont know myself at all.simply i never did
know myself.isnt cus i never bothered too
or why shld i bother.all the dilemmas i have
been going through has been awful.
somtimes i feel damn lonely facing it all
alone.but i rather be alone i dont know mann
i dont but i seriously do wish to know.

the day will come.hopefully real soon
for me to understand myself

2005-08-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

now the only bloody word that has
been coming out from me is fuck.
i guess i am just feeling pretty fucked up
like whats wrong i seriously dont know.
is not something that i wish to talk about.
i rather keep it to myself.i dont know
i cant even bring it up like i really dont
know how to bring across something like
that seriously.

perhaps you wouldnt agree with what i am
doing ryte now.but i dont give a damn about it.
thats your thoughts and i actually dont wana give
a bloody fuck on how youre feeling cus it aint
affecting me and it something insignificance that
i shld be bothered about.why bother when you dont.

maybe you do but i am just blind insensitive
heartless and cold blooded and all.i dont exactly
care about what you think about me cus it
only ends up spoiling my mood.but still thats now
the thing that i cant help but think about nor care about.
thats not even it.omg would an angel just come and
take me awayy.i rather run away from reality.

i dont know how to face it and i find it hard to
ignore it i have been trying to but ut aint working
well for me.the more i ignore it the worse i feel.
its draining me out.but i am seriously trying to get on.
and not stop that and thats it for me.

well thats more to my life than just you.
thats plenty more for me to love and care for.
if you dont appreciate that fuck up alrights.
i am not pissed or anything.i just cant ignore
the fact that youre doing all this stuff.
uh huh well i guess i have too sensitive this
past few days too.taking things either too
lightly or way to seriously.

make me flyy away from all this.

2005-08-18T03:36:00.000-07:00

i guess i just feel down and lousy.
so sorry that i have been such a bitch
and all.i have been snapping at youu.
you bear with it and all.i guess i have
been doing that to all.really sorry

just that i dont seem to be the same
anyone.many things have changed cus of
what you have done to make me change.
perhaps is just me who has change it has
always been this way havent it.

you dont change i change.you are right
i am wrong very wrong and i am the bad one
who has hurt you and all.but i am being such a
insensitive and superficial person.
what is new.perhaps i am i dont know.
just that really i have not been concerned nor
bothered about it.i guess i am voicing out whatever
you want to say to me.and i know you well
enough to be saying this alright.

you think you know me well.
hurhur thats what you think.
i guess even a normal friend of mine
knows be better than you seriously.
just a friend you know.
and you are like my good friend.
so what its all superficial.

to me i am true alright.
if i say you are my good friend
you are alright.if i say i mean it
i really do.is up to you to believe actually.
when i said that i do love you i mean
it.i aint got no love for my family.
so friends are all i have.my only ones
that actually i can say i love.
and of cus BARNEY too.
always there for me to cry on.

well so when friends hurt it hurts
deep.i am scarred mann.
perhaps i am a failure in everything.
huge sucker too.
trust me mann the number of
friendships that i have had which
hurt me deep has been so plenty.
since primary school.oh forget

vented it all out.

2005-08-16T04:35:00.000-07:00

oh no gwen is feeling bitchy now.
totally bitchy.i wasnt pissed la.
i was just annoyed by that bitch
she doesnt even fit to be a bitch.
bitches can be nice alright.haha
she aint at all.

she is just a loner.that pitys herself
all day long.i dont even know why i
even hung on to the fone talking to you
for three hrs.you were going on and on.
rattling off and all.i pity you alright.
no one can stand you seriously.
is just that you are too bothered
and engrossed about you and youu
only.you is the only person
who revolves around this world.
i feel that i am damn patient alrdy.
and this is how you treat me.

you actually took advantage of me.
that has change me.thats why i aint
gonna act nice anymore.
i am going to be nice if i really want to.
and be really bitchy if i want to.
come on play with me mann.
this game is oh so bloody fun.

oh fine mann.seriously fuck off
you damn thing.you are fit to be anything.
to me you are just some self-pitier.
fuck off la kays
shut that gap of yours.
your fucking hair is annoying me.
yes it is.you make me fucked up mann.

majorly.fuck off from my life please.
i am not going to be such a bitch and
be bitchy towards you with that fucking
attitue cus that aint me.but if you want it
then bring it on.(*^*&^&$(#%$#%^

2005-08-09T20:20:00.000-07:00

~~my whole world is you.~~
~~all about you and only you.~~
~~all i ever dreamt about was you~~

i am a good actress.
yes i know that.
thats the reason why when i am
actually the real me.nobody would
know.i really miss the times
when i was happy in and out.

and i mean happy.that was all in
the past when i was a sixyearold kid.
i never felt happy on the inside anymore.
but now after so many years.
and the feeling is back.
the satisfied and overjoyed me on
the inside.the me that i have been longing
to find.

it hurts that you dont trust nor believe
whatever i had to say.when i am feeling
high and crazy and all.is the lowest point
of my life.but who in this world knows
please.

knowing that so many people ard me
has been hurt at one go.its a blow for me.
i was happy and all.until everyone
ard me felt down and all.so i was down too
i feel for them oh yes.i am not some cold blooded
insensitive.

but i nevermind sharing whatever my friends
are going through.i know how i feels being alone
and all with no one to share it all with.
cus thats how i have been feeling.

no one true for me to tell my things too.
i do not want to spoilt the mood of others.
i hope to be there for all((:
i'll definately be there if you want me to.
i would be there no matter what.
no matter where you are.even if you want me to
rush down to some punggol or jurong

i would do that all just to be
there for you.thats how much yall mean to me
all i want you to know is iLOVE all of you.

my BARNEY you have always been there for me.
my DOLLIE means the whole wide world to me.
my BESTFRIEND always and my love.
my ANGEL you gave me wings and made me flyy.
thanks for always being there and putting a smile on my face((:

2005-08-01T03:19:00.000-07:00

all i want is you to understand.
your understanding thats all i need.
i would try to be there for you.
perhaps i am trying hard enough to
be there for you.well i'm truly sorry

i feel bad i realised it all.i guess
after crying it all out.i feel much better.
i cried so hard like i never did before.
like you would ever know that i have
been hurt so much.and what you thought
is you are the only one being hurt.
its not that i dont want to confine in
you.i dont know how

we are not as close as before.
i guess we are not even close anymore.
all i want you to know that is i still
love you!yesyes no matter what alright(:

who would ever know if i have been
crying my soul out hur.who would even
be there for me.you would even understand
someone is dying.i need a break.
i dont have the courage to face it by
myself.i seriously dont know whats
going to become of me if he actually dies.
he loves me so much.and i know that he does.
he made my childhood fun and all.
he is the one who makes me feel impt like no
other.i feel alone at home.who cares.
he cares so much for me.whyy take him away
from me.i need him.i love my granddad.

2005-07-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

its over.all over.
arent you glad that its
all over.isnt this what you
ever wanted.i thought so.
but this wasnt what i wanted.
maybe i wasnt true to it.
but were you.you were just
there judging me.dont
misjudge me.

i do love everyone.but i love
my little angel even more.
cos you mean much more to me(:
i mean it oh yes i do.

2005-07-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

get away from my life.

perhaps i have hurt you time and
time again but that wasnt my intention.
i have tried time and time again to make
you feel that i wouldnt mind you being
there.but you thought differently.
bascially we think differently
is like two worlds apart kinda surprise
how we could have gone this far.

but i have never regretted coming
this far.its all worthwhile as long
as soon you understand my intentions.
the wishes i have that have yet to be
fufill.i want all of them to come true.
yes and i would want you to be like
everyone else who is going to witness it
and be happy for me.yes alright

when i have hurt you.it hurts be more
than i am hurting you without realising
that i did.it hurts me knowing that you
have mistaken me.it hurts so badly
i feel so torn apart inside. there is a
new scar now there.another one
inside of me.it aint healing
perhaps it is but the i would have
been scarred.the memories aint pretty.
they are uglyfugly horrible ones.

sleepless nights.spoilage of my happy days.
stop it all please.i learned to move on
after you left me there hanging all
alone.i appreciate everything even
more now.and unlike you taking
every single thing like they are
suppose to be meant that way
for you and it has to be that wayy.
you thoughtless and unreasonable
thing.hopefully you learned to move on
soon without me

2005-06-25T05:14:00.000-07:00

after what happened i am left
speechless.i have got nothing
more that i can do nor sayy.
i am tired very wore out.
time out please!

this cant be happening all
the time.it cant i will
just breakdown and i may
not be the same anymore.
yup if thats one you been wanting
and hoping for.

that let it be.i would just
give it like i always do.
hopefully after all that
things would be better.
lets just hope that tml
would be a better dayy((:

2005-06-15T03:30:00.000-07:00

my life has been topsy turvy.
life sucks tonnes now.
so plenty.overflowing
problems one after another.
sucks please why is it
happening to me now.

great timing hurr.
hope this phase would end
soon really soon.i am
going to breakdown.
actually i have alrdy
but here i am back once
more.i cant take it anymore!

getlost!shoo!fuckoff!

2005-06-12T01:33:00.000-07:00

give me my owe space please.
i have a life of my owe hurr.
you dont exactly have to fuck
off yea.thanks for always
being there yes.i guess
we just need a time-out hurr

2005-06-02T04:09:00.000-07:00

i dont exactly care about what you think seriously
i dont.i mean like why should i.perhaps you think
you are not at fault and totally flawless.
but you are at all maybe i am worse than you
but still does that give you the right to say the same
about me.

maybe i am a bitch but thats me ever since the
first day you knew i was alrdy one. well i never expected
you to think it that way at all. cos i have never
did anything like what you think i did.

is just all about your own thoughts.
you have changed.not the one i used to know
perhaps you thought i have changed well
deep down i never did is just that it was
never shown hurr

well i dont wish to dragg on like that
cos it seriously sucks.but i dont want
this to end our friendship just like that.
i do treasure it i really do yea.but i
dont know about youu.i cant read your
mind please.

whos the fako one here.so fake
and bloody plastic is not farnie
at all.its very annoying so quit it.
and i treasure every single friend
although i dont show it but yes i do.
and i appreciate good friends even more.
dont misjugde me.